Thursday, November 8

Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.  Psalm 71:17-20

On my 21st birthday some friends threw a party for me. There was an old guy there – a friend of a friend – who took an interest in me and began to flirt. In a gay male culture that values youthful beauty above all else, I was conditioned to think that this old troll and I couldn't possibly have anything in common. He was 26…

It seems pretty silly, this preoccupation with youth. But in some ways it was hard to avoid. Much of the generation preceding us was destroyed in the early days of the AIDS pandemic. There were few role models who fit the description of old and gray and fewer still who could share how they had managed to reconcile their love of men with their love of God. What we've learned has at times been largely hit or miss, trading our innocence for fleeting encounters, our birthright as sons of God for crumbs from the table.

Yet even in the trickiest spaces my God has always been with me – guiding, leading, protecting, urging me into better ways of being. Though I spent many years saying, "Leave me alone," God's persistent voice never ceases to whisper, "I AM here."

Unlike the Psalmist, I feel no need to beg that God not forsake me in my old age, for I rest in the faith that God's love never fails. And as I start to notice those little white whiskers staring at me from the mirror, I am reminded that I've seen a lot. Though I've walked some dark and lonely places, I have been raised up again and again into new life. I will praise God to this new generation, for God truly has done marvelous things!

My prayer:
Gracious God, you have walked with me through the rocky places, where there was little comfort. Oh, the great things that I have seen in this life as I've come to embrace You and all that You made me to be. Thank you for the wonders you've allowed me to experience. Help me to see the opportunities you provide to witness to your marvelous deeds. May your Love shine through us to those who are passing through their own troubles. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Bryce Rich